Jennifer Battisti, Writer
Las Vegas, NV
Aside from your creative work do you have any additional source of income?
I am an aesthetician for the Spa at Wyn Resorts
Who do you live with and how do you feel about that?
I live with my seven-year-old daughter and our cat, Patches. My daughter still goes to her dad's house on the weekends, which on one hand, gives me time and space to attempt to recharge myself with meditation, rest, exercise and frequent bouts of ugly crying (I think we call that giving ourselves space to feel our feelings haha), but on the other hand, it does cause me some anxiety about the uncertainty of keeping everyone safe and protected. This time with my daughter has been a growth experience for both of us. I am accustomed to staying in motion and being productive. She likes to be in control of her routines and has a tough time with transitions, so we've both had to adjust to the excess of time and space, the just being here, together. Art has been a fun way for us to bond and tap into the magical powers of creativity. I would not have allowed myself to just draw and paint for the sake of engaging with art, without a goal in mind. It's been freeing in this way.
How are you spending your time?
I spend my time homeschooling, tending to my succulent garden, attempting to write, reading, listening to podcasts, biking and feeling uncomfortable often.
How is the pandemic impacting you?
I am very fortunate that the hotel where I am employed has been extremely generous in offering us pay during the closure. There are so many other folks in the hospitality industry who were just laid off without compensation. Las Vegas is an extremely vulnerable city for economic impact, as we rely so heavily on tourism. Psychologically, I struggle with ambiguous grief, or anticipated grief, if that makes sense. It's difficult to process the suffering we see in the media but not yet know the full impact of this pandemic as some of us are just at the beginning of it. I also struggle with feeling guilty for joyfulness. I assume I am not alone in this, but when I find myself grateful or smiling for some delight in my life, I can feel shame bubble up because so many people are hurting--the enormous collective suffering is always right there, beneath the small joys. I do think we should take in the joy though, it reminds of us of humanity, and reminds us that there can be both kindness and sorrow, peace and calamity, it's not a dualist truth, there's space for the whole mess of it.
What do you want to accomplish personally and/or professionally during this time?
At first I think I may have brought the idea of accomplishment to this experience, how can I get in the best physical shape, writing goals, decluttering etc, but I realize that this is also very taxing emotionally on all of us, especially children. My daughter is afraid when we go to the grocery store. She freaks out if we forget the hand sanitizer. Mostly, I just want to be awake for this. I don't want to check out and miss actually feeling the enormity of this. I ask myself daily, can I witness this? Can I (in the face of fear) be curious about it? Can I bring something to this experience? Can I write something about it? I want to be available for my daughter, to help her navigate this strange new world. I want to be available for my family and others in need. I am investing extra time into meditation and gentle self development, but not with any shaming attached if I blow it off when I need to. My daughter and I are also watching movies that I watched when I was a kid, and this has been a lot of fun to revisit with her. Today we watched Gorillas in the Mist!
What kind of world do you want to see on the other side of this?
I would want to see a more connected world. So much of our country's fragility has been exposed through this crisis. I am hopeful it can work as a catalyst for changes in political ways as well as fostering a more universal shift in what we hold sacred.
How can people find you and support you and your work?
They can purchase and read my chapbook, Echo Bay, published with Tolsun Books and follow me on Instagram @jennbatt3